Allah.

Bismillah...

When i am feeling down,
He sent me this pict for me to smile..

It is hurting,
But i want to smile...

It is frustrating,
But i want to take it easy

As life doesn't end there...

Let's pray for another better & bigger chance

Aamiinn

#pray

Kejutan dari Dia

Bismillah...

Allahu..

I was wondering

"Am i doing da right thing?" before this.

What happened was...

Allah sent me 2 beautiful souls right before i start another journey while studying.

They motivated me indirectly from our conversations..
They injected me with positive vibes...
They talked to me the way i wanted to be heard...
They are truly the beautiful souls..

Allah sent them to me...
Although i'm the ugliest soul,
He never neglected me...

I was accepted to be part of an organization that you will never dismiss..
A platform for me to use the knowledge in uni to industry... Alhamdulillah..

Thank You...

P/s: be grateful, you never know what you got till it's gone....

Kakak2, thank you

2018 1st post

Bismillah..

Xtau nak mula dr mana.

Alhamdulillah, Allah bg ruang, peluang, kesempatan, keupayaan, kekuatan, kemudahan utk aku sambung belajar. ALHAMDULILLAH

Dah lama berkeinginan,
Dah lama berangan,
Dah lama simpan,
Niat utk pursue my study.
Although dah tua, tp keinginan utk blaja still ada.

To be honest,
Dah 3 hr aku masuk class..
Lama dah xpegi kelas,

Cuak,
Nervous,
Anxious
Semua ada..

1st day, 1st class,
Terpandang ceiling class,
I was questioning myself,

Betol ka semua ni..
Am i doing da right thing
Am i gonna be okay?

Lillahitaala,
Aku belajar kerana Mu..

Peace be upon you

even the word "cry" makes me cry

bismillah

i was wondering for couple of days
when i watch someone is crying, definitely i'm gonna cry too
tp sbenanya, lama dah benda ni, n this is normal to many of us.

tapiiiii it becomes worse!
why?
when i read "CRY"
my tears... (OMG)!

writing this post is burdensome

am i that broken? inside?

hating love song,
hating love story,
hating sad song.
hating sad story.

peace be upon u.

nak tulis apa yg jd kat court hari ni sbenanya,
tp...

cukuplah sekadar dengan ayat ni...
"binatang pon boleh bercakap eh?"
"dah diizinkan bercakap, pandai plak menipu"
have a nice day in hell man!

iktibar

this is a story of a friend of mine.

kami 6 org,
5 org rapat dari sekolah rendah..
diteruskan ke sekolah menengah with addition of 1.

lepas spm, semua bawak langkah masing2..
masih contact..
tp jarang2..
3 belum kawen,
2 org dah,
1  complicated.

**flashback in secondary school**
Alhamdulillah, my friends semuanya baik..
Allah jaga aku dgn hadirkan diorg ni la utk teman aku sepanjang zaman sekolah
kami sama2 masuk tilawah, hafazan, any pertandingan yg perlukn team,
kami akan masuk sama2..

but now,
masing2 dah 26 tahun..
masing2 dah ada cerita sendiri..
ada yg dah ada anak,
ada yg dah ada master,
ada yg dah keje,
dan ada yg Allah uji lebih dari kemampuan yg lg 5 ni...

back then, dia yg paling dicemburui,
good look, good behavior, good attitude
#perfect
#complete package

yup, dia lewat masuk u dari 5 org lg tu,
tp tu bukannya petanda dia rank paling bawah.
nope.
kawan baik kot.

semuanya started when she did her practical + worked at a local electrical shop
kami still jumpa, as we had promised each other,
at least, once in a year, buat reunion.
first, second, third, fourth reunion,
kami xnampak apa2.
semua still gila dalam sopan..
#normal us

with no warning,
without any signal alert,
her mom contacted me asking whether i knew about her daughter's prob
which i knew nothing

it's about marriage, man, love, dan any suitable words u can list..

oh, lupa nak bgtau, masa sekolah, kami ni acah2 student baik laaa..
xbuat disiplin prob, gang cikgu, tp still reti hormat cikgu..

back to the story..
mak dia cakap,
dia nak kawen,
tp mak dia xbg..

why??

bukan sbb mak dia typical malaysian mom, no
bukan sbb mak dia nak rasa gaji anak dia, no
bukan sbb mak dia kolot, no

sbbnya,
dia nak kawen dengan bos tempat dia kerja,
which!
dah ada bini
dah ada 4 anak

*ek eleh, relax ah, bini kedua ja pon~~
hellooooo

let us put ourselves in her parents shoes,
nak ke ko lepaskan anak yg kau sayang ke tangan lelaki yg panas baran?
nak ke kau lepaskan anak kau ke lelaki yg xtau hormat mak ayah

apasal aku emo??

sbb lelaki tu dah rosakkan kawan baik aku
i do believe kalau lelaki tu baik,
dia xkan bawak kawan aku ke siam, kawen kat sana!
dia xkan buat hal dekat rumah "mertua" dia
dia xkan sentuh! anak org!!!!
dan kawan aku xkan sakit sekarg..
gugur..

my friend completely depress now..
dengan mak dia, dia xnak cakap,
mak dia tanya, xnak jawab,
isolated..
berkurung dlm bilik,
makan mak hanta,

lepas tau hal ni couple days ago,
Allah izinkan aku balik,
aku n sorg lg kawan kami,
decided to go meet her..
mak dia izinkan..

mula2 sampai,
dia dalam bilik air,
mandi.
2 jam tunggu, still dlm bilik air..
mak ayah dia berkali kali panggil,
xkeluar..

kawan aku try pujuk dia dulu,
xda respon..
ayah dia gertak,
xda respon...
aku tipu dia,
cakap dah nak balik..
jumpa lain kali..

kami duduk luar bilik air diam2..
dia keluar,
no way to run,
dia terkejut,
tp laju dia cakap, kejap.

kami bg masa kat dia..
then, head to her room..

nampak ja muka kami,
dia terus menangis..
tangisan seorg sahabat yg humiliated,
yg stress dengan hidupnya
xpernah aku nampak dia menangis mcm tu..
aku ingat senyuman dia,
tp kali ni, hilang dah senyuman dia.

kami duduk dlm bilik dia,
bilik yg dah jd penjara dia..
tp aku faham,
mak ayah dia buat mcm tu utk kebaikan dia..
dia cakap dia stress..
yup, dr ucapan setiap perkataan dia,
she's blaming the people inside her home.
her family..
lelaki tu xda salah..
lelaki tu sempurna pd dia..

ni la kan, bila soal pasal cinta,
org ckp cinta tu buta,
yup, i do belive,
cakap la apa2..
semua salah..

dia makin kurus,
xda dah senyuman,
mata bengkak,

kami yg banyak bercakap,
ingat xnak cakap pasal apa yg jd pada dia,
tp kami xleh lari..
she knew that we knew..
nothing to hide anymore..................................................................................................................

girl,
please,
xguna give up your life for a man yg tak tau pun sampai bila Allah akan pinjamkn.
xguna menangis utk lelaki yg xtau hargai perempuan
kalau lelaki tu baik, xpa la.
ni dah sah2 lelaki tu xbeguna!
xdapat kat dunia pon xpa,
asalkan u are living in the right path,
it's ok la.. xkawen pon..
ada jodoh Alhamdulillah,
xda jodoh pon Alhamdulillah..
semuanya ada sbb..


boy,
if u really want to make a girl as your wife,
grow up first!
be a man!
ambik hati mak ayah dia dulu,
tunjukkan kesungguhan,
tunjukkan kau mampu,
kalau kau nak kawen 2 sekalipon.
ni isteri kau sakit, ko pegi cari perempuan lain!
buat kacau kat rumah mertua,
tepekik telolong mcm org gila,
ajak adik bradik gadoh,
nak tampa bapak mertua
belum apa2 kau dah tunjuk evil side kau
hoi, parents mana nak lepas anak dia kat kau!

tq man,
you had succeeded in making my friend suffer!
i hope u will be happy in hell.
curse you.
sincerely : kawan baik kpd seorg perempuan yg kau dah rentap hidupnya!

2017... already

Alhamdulillah, Allah bagi peluang, sampai 2017..

lama xmenulis..
tiba2 teringin.. catat.. mana tau nanti lupa..

2016.. tahun yg macam2 jadi..
2017 pon xkurang hebat..
awal2 tahun lg dah diuji..
harapnya,
mampu sabar dan terus bersabar..

aku rindu sana..
sometimes, i wonder, am i able to go there again..
to live there for once again..
to meet all the people that make me smile there..
to walk the same path again..
to eat fresh pastry and milk again
to wonder with no worries
to talk to strangers with no fear
am i able?
.....................................................

btw,
i already started a new journey..

i'm a teacher now..
tapi.. skolah swasta laaa..
aku xlayak pon sbenanya..
tp kuasa Allah kan..

at first, aku tekejut jgk..
sbb xpernah bayang nak ngajar bi..
tapi aku ambik la kan pluang tu,
sambil2 nak improve diri sendiri

yg lebih kelaka,
bila aku kene ajar SEJARAH!
s.e.j.a.r.a.h ok!!! form 5!
subject yg aku agak keberatan nak deliver..

tp tu lah,
bila Allah letak kita di sesuatu tempat,
cuba la kan..

banyak yg nak diluahkan..
tp xtau nak mula dr mana..

doakan aku berjaya dlm hidup..
keinginan sambung belajar still ada,
doakan aku dpt sambung belajar..
doakan aku mampu lahirkan pelajar yg berakhlak mulia
doakan aku jd seorg yg berguna..

for sejarah...
i'll try as hard as i can..
to make my children love it!

"today is tomorrow history"

p/s: senyum although there is no solid reason

lg 3 minggu n i am excited.. huhu

lg 3 minggu nak habis. insyaAllah Allah permudahkan semuanya..
yup, aku merancang, Allah juga ada rancanganNya utk aku..
& of coz, rancangan Allah utk aku adlh lebih baik.

i had a great talk with Puan Izah, my co-sv kat tempat LI ni.
MashaAllah.. bercakap dgn dia, aku rasa tenang & sgt motivated.
she read me like a magazine. *cam lagu jo~ lol
tp betul, dia baca aku 1 1
"awk ni ada ni ni ni ni......"
aku rasa cam kena stuju ja dgn apa yg dia ckp! lol

tapiiiii....
ini discussion je..
nasihat dr seorg yg berpengalaman..
mana yg baik, kita ambik, mana yg rasa kurg sesuai, fikir balik, & improvise.
normalla, kita manusia.. mana ada sempurna..

aku rasa cam nak rakam apa yg dia cakap...
tp xpa lah, mintak ngan Dia lah.. huhu

esok lusa kene hanta report sbenanye,
tp skarg... aku berblog plak kan! haha

alright, aku dah mula war2kn apa plan aku lepas li sbenanya...
mula2 ingat nak rahsiakan,
tp.... susah la plak nak rahsiakan dr famili ni... hahaha
nak xnak, aku mula jujur dgn apa plan aku lepas li...

insyaAllah as i said before,
i'm gonna start my own business.
nak buat kecik2 ja.
nanti aku share apa product aku. kikiki

yup, bnyk saingan,
tp aku percaya,
rezeki itu, Allah yg bg
xnak tamak,
xnak rugi,
so moderate...
simple in modesty is my theme.

insyaAllah jugak,
ada rezeki,
aku nak sambung master..
xkesah kat mana,
asalkan belajar!
lillahitaala.

betullah, Puan bukak minda aku td,
kita belajar sampai dpt Dr, pengakhirannya apa?
aku terdiam kejap,
ha ah.. aku nak buat apa sbenanya?
tp jwpn aku simple..
n jwpn ni utk dr aku ja,
aku nak ilmu, aku nak dekatkn dr dgn agama aku.
yup, i'm muslim, but how muslim is a muslim yg mcm aku?

harap Allah mudahkan perjalanan aku utk mendekatiNya..
yg akhirnya kemana... aku biarkan blank dulu, nanti aku isi, bila sampai masanya... huhu

enough with soal jodoh,
sbb kalau ikut list, ada 48967937 benda lg aku nak buat *haha
nak jd
-volunteer
-petani
-traveler
-hamba
-anak yg baik
-bwk mama jalan2
-dan sebagainyaaaaa.... haha

so no need to rush..
bila aku dah memerlukan,
Allah akan hadirkan seseorang.. yg dpt trima aku seadanya...
of coz, aku nak jd baik dr smalam..
xsemestinya nak kawen baru nak brubah kan?

p/s:
i'm a very good listener,
but i'm not a good speaker.
aku akan mendengar,
&tafsiran ku kadg2 sama dgn mu, & kadang2 lain sikit..

doakan aku ye n__n
utk xmudah putus asa.

peace be upon u :)